My kids started a new school this year. This is the first time that they are in a school without me there.
My strong need to be in complete control, partnered with my “I’m a teacher by trade” attitude are really giving me strong pains in leaving them in a school that I just don’t know or understand. I know they are in amazing hands because it’s a really great school. I know they don’t “need” me as much now that they are in 2nd & 3rd grades. I just don’t like not knowing what’s going on.
I’m not a “helicopter mom” hovering over everything they do. I’m the furthest away from it…ask anyone who knows me. I allow them to make their own mistakes. I don’t “do” everything for them, fostering their independence. And I am being completely honest when I say they will go away for college one day. I just hate not being in control. Maybe it is the “teacher in me” that I am a type A personality.
I have been very spoiled for the past 7 years since my oldest started preschool. I have always been a few doors away from my kids and have been able to be right there if the teacher needed to talk to me about something great or something that needed to change. Those days are gone. Call me a control freak, but I really don’t like that when a paper comes home, I can’t just run to the classroom and ask the teacher what it all means.
I’ve always known many of the parents personally and have gone through the grades with the same faces. I’ve always had the support of the other parents when something was confusing and I didn’t want to be “that mom” in the teacher’s face (especially since I worked with them). Now I’m all alone. I have to rely on what an elementary child tells me. I’m sorry, that just doesn’t cut it for me.
I know I have email and can ask the teacher anything I want. But apparently at our new school, the teachers aren’t required to check their emails at least three times a day like I had to as a teacher.
I left our Open House night in tears because I just felt so lost. Since I was a teacher, I understood all of the curricular issues, and the programs are the same, and I completely support their procedures. I just felt as if I didn’t belong or have a place.
My kids and my husband and I are really happy with the school and I know that’s all that matters. I’m just being a whiny baby about not being a part of it all. Like a balloon, I should just let it go.